so explain again why im purple
no
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
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dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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