Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
