Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
