Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
