I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize