Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?