she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse