i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
