Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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