He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
