Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
