Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
