do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
