I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I got inside last night via doggy door
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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