what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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