i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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