I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
