Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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