I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
These tits shall not be calmed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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