Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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