I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
