i barfeds in our rink
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're a waste of cheezeits
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
