She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
