One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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