So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
