So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
