I want to stick my p in your. b.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.