your parents love me but you hate me
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
