She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
