It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
