i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
