then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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