Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
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boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
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You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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