Duck Duck Cougar?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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