well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she told me i tasted like america
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How naked do you want me to be?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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