i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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