My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
