Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk