Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll

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  (248): Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll http://tfl.nu/ubae
  Replies (0) Good night (823) Bad night (902)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me

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  (208): He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me http://tfl.nu/1pq8
  Replies (2) Good night (1189) Bad night (681)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  and my herpes radar will keep us safe

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  (843): and my herpes radar will keep us safe http://tfl.nu/p103
  Replies (25) Good night (3512) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  hows the new call of duty?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.

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  (207): hows the new call of duty? (1-207): I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome. http://tfl.nu/zewm
  Replies (78) Good night (5711) Bad night (1150)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

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  (440): By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas http://tfl.nu/5ruz
  Replies (46) Good night (4943) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again

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  (417): That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again http://tfl.nu/ofmm
  Replies (37) Good night (7631) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

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  (206): He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look http://tfl.nu/dski
  Replies (17) Good night (4919) Bad night (1613)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.

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  (773): Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary. http://tfl.nu/s27x
  Replies (2) Good night (2821) Bad night (1010)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.

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  (519): Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him. http://tfl.nu/z0om
  Replies (3) Good night (1507) Bad night (764)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls

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  (254): I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls http://tfl.nu/dudn
  Replies (14) Good night (2520) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?

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  (613): have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics? http://tfl.nu/lk3z
  Replies (7) Good night (1490) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.

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  (401): You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous. http://tfl.nu/cb7r
  Replies (4) Good night (1418) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.

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  (952): He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy. http://tfl.nu/1isp
  Replies (5) Good night (1112) Bad night (688)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.

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  (480): I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified. http://tfl.nu/m5g1
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (616)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle

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  (203): Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle http://tfl.nu/2uwk
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (377)

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