Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans. http://tfl.nu/8x3v
  Replies (8) Good night (732) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle? (1-614): i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you. http://tfl.nu/6cnp
  Replies (34) Good night (579) Bad night (3869)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision. http://tfl.nu/ohzv
  Replies (7) Good night (4462) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete http://tfl.nu/yzxp
  Replies (28) Good night (4631) Bad night (1859)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge http://tfl.nu/q5gb
  Replies (17) Good night (3563) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous. http://tfl.nu/26wz
  Replies (2) Good night (3263) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future. http://tfl.nu/vzzo
  Replies (7) Good night (2686) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory. http://tfl.nu/gw1o
  Replies (3) Good night (3134) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI. http://tfl.nu/53k1
  Replies (6) Good night (2190) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN" http://tfl.nu/vt0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1177) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me? http://tfl.nu/gcj7
  Replies (13) Good night (683) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry. http://tfl.nu/53sz
  Replies (11) Good night (1576) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground? http://tfl.nu/za9i
  Replies (19) Good night (1201) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one. http://tfl.nu/nwfi
  Replies (5) Good night (806) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood. http://tfl.nu/9x0w
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (523)

Randomize