Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night