i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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