When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low