You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.