My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.