2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
