so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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