careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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