I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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