and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.