so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.