He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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