Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.

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  (203): Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle. http://tfl.nu/zfv7
  Replies (7) Good night (2442) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.

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  (401): Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon. http://tfl.nu/lhyu
  Replies (55) Good night (3667) Bad night (635) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special

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  (303): i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special http://tfl.nu/5558
  Replies (40) Good night (3528) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa

  (404): View more from Georgia

  sure if you go to prison

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  (813): i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa (404): sure if you go to prison http://tfl.nu/yad5
  Replies (24) Good night (818) Bad night (2728)
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  (818): View more from California

  That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!

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  (818): That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister! http://tfl.nu/bmda
  Replies (20) Good night (6842) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.

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  (330): She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that. http://tfl.nu/ix7p
  Replies (15) Good night (3870) Bad night (1687) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.

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  (317): Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube. http://tfl.nu/etlx
  Replies (16) Good night (5113) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA

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  (+44): He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA http://tfl.nu/iogl
  Replies (14) Good night (2074) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god

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  (814): When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god http://tfl.nu/yzjp
  Replies (3) Good night (1681) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.

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  (716): Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan. http://tfl.nu/rfh9
  Replies (4) Good night (1713) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."

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  (617): Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide." http://tfl.nu/7grl
  Replies (31) Good night (2549) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.

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  (724): This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends. http://tfl.nu/8qq1
  Replies (12) Good night (1906) Bad night (505)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado

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  (616): Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado http://tfl.nu/cd6c
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (196)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.

  (989): View more from Michigan

  this is the most serious roommate agreement ever

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  (810): So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way. (989): this is the most serious roommate agreement ever http://tfl.nu/m5zb
  Replies (5) Good night (1277) Bad night (159)
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  (408): View more from California

  We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar

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  (408): We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar http://tfl.nu/h9fi
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt

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