is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
