Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
