I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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