So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
