I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
