2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
