she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
