At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
