Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
