this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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