There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
