Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
