So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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