i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize