that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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