you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize