69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
