**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
