Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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