just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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