I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
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Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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